Laundry, Drugs and Homelessness

Laundry is always an issue in our house. With 8 people in a family, laundry can get out of control quickly. My goal for today was to get caught up. I got it sorted and washing and drying and sat down for a 'quick' facebook break. While I am reading posts about people wrapping and shopping and baking and those who wished they were shopping and wrapping and baking, I can hear Sarah lecturing Brynna.

I am pretty sure Brynna was listening just about as well as I was. Remember Charlie Brown? "Waa, waa, waa." I am really not paying attention. And then I hear, "Do you want Mommy to be on drugs?"

What?!?!?

Sarah is lecturing Brynna on putting her clothes away. It goes something like this:

"Brynna, you need to go put that basket of your laundry away. Mommy gets really upset when you don't. And when you put clean clothes back into the laundry, she gets REALLY upset. If she stays upset all the time, she might have to start using drugs to get through the day. And that would be really bad."

"And when you put clean clothes in the laundry to be washed again, it wastes water. Water is expensive. If Mommy has to spend so much money on water, she can't pay our other bills. If she can't pay our bills, we will have to move out of our house."

"If she has to spend all the money on water and drugs, we will definitely be homeless. Do you want to live in the Suburban?"

I am paraphrasing, but that is the gist of it. It made me laugh. Brynna was unfazed. It would have been completely amazing if it had worked. But, alas, Brynna's laundry is still in the basket.

Oh well, I got a giggle out of it. Isn't that all that really matters?

BFS Torture or How I manage STRESS

Wednesday
It was already going to be a crazy day. The girls had an 8:00 dentist appointment, the boys 2:00. I find dental visits to be very stressful. The bad news, the expense, the struggle to get them all to a certain place at a certain time(with all of their teeth brushed). Stress.

My sweet, darling, wonderful husband woke me up and had my coffee waiting on me. I love that man!

He left for work and I grab my jacket from the floor where I had dropped it the day before. As I pick it up I heard something hit the floor. I HEARD something hit the floor. I looked down and almost DIED. It was a BIG FUCKING SPIDER. (Sorry, Mom.)

I did what anyone would do in a case such as this. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cup. It makes perfect sense to me. I slapped the cup on top of the BFS and went out on the porch. I did put the jacket on. Because I am not scared.

Now normally I have to fight with myself to stay up that early in the morning. Not this time. Wide awake! Did I mention it was my bedroom floor?

I spend a little while trying to decide what to do about this spider under a cup. Yes, I know I could have just squished him. Had I squished him, no one would know how huge he was. A smear is not very impressive.

While I pondered my dilemma, I texted that sweet, darling, wonderful man I married. He responded with LOL. That BASTARD! And all day long he was texting 'snicker' at me. His new name is Bastard. Maybe by Christmas he will be back to husband.

Now before I tell you how I handled the BFS, I have to point out that not only is it dentist day but also 8 days before Christmas. I am not ready. No tree, no presents, no cookies. Nothing. My house is trashed. My yard is trashed. I am behind in everything. We had a cub scout Christmas party on Monday and a girl scout Christmas party on Tuesday. I am stressed. I am behind. I am dropping balls left, right and center. And bright and early Wednesday morning, a spider decided to scare the crap out of me. So please don't judge me for what I am about to tell you.

I took an envelope and slid it under the cup. I very carefully picked it up and walked to the kitchen. I flipped the cup and envelope over, removed the envelope and looked inside. Yep. It was still a BFS. I took a picture. Covered the cup with plastic wrap with a rubber band. I sent the picture to my husband followed by a single word. Bastard. He snickered. Bastard.

Now I have to decide what to do with this cup.

Call me crazy, but I gave the cup a shake. Not a vigorous shake. Just enough to knock the spider off his feet. And I felt better. I set the cup down with a tap. Yep, I feel better. No spider is allowed to crawl up in my jacket and scare the crap out of me. Never mind that my jacket was on the floor.

I took the girls to the dentist. Found out they need $600 worth of stuff done. Gulp! Most of that is sealants which my insurance does not cover. What kind of sense does that make? Stress. Came home, shook the cup. Felt better.

I took the boys to the dentist. Found out they need $600 worth of stuff done. Double gulp! Again with the sealants. STRESS! Came home, shook the cup, texted BASTARD to that man I married, felt better.


So here it is Thursday. I spent 5 hours dealing with AT&T. Can you spell S-T-R-E-S-S? I don't even have to shake the cup anymore. I just have to think about shaking the cup. And text a BASTARD to the husband. And I feel better.

The spider's name is Herman. He is missing a leg. I didn't do that. I found him that way. He is still in the cup with the plastic wrap and rubber band. I am wondering what kind of spider he is and if he needs a snack. What do you feed spiders? The Bastard says they eat ankles.

Should I release him into the wild? I can't squash him. He has a name. What to do? What to do?

Best Hazing Ever!

   So as you might have guessed from the last post, I have been granted the title of Assistant Amateur Reporter Extrodinaire by Myself, and given my mother's blessing in the form of 'Okay, I guess you can post on mine.*SIGH*'
   I will try my best to do good by the events of our household, and all the liveliness they imply.  I hope that you all will bear with my errors and discrepancies, and we will all learn to get along, or at the very least not find ourselves screeching 'GO FOR THE EYES' much more often than is necessary.
   For now, please just rest assured that new posts ARE in the works, for both my humble blogs, and Our house isn't liable to run out of material soon!


                                                                                'Til the next post!
                                                                                           -Sarah

I'm a BAD blogger

I am feeling a little something. Something not awesome. Something a little bit icky. I probably need a vacation. Or at least a nap.

I feel inadequate. Overwhelmed, understaffed, misunderstood. I know, without a doubt, that I have too much on my plate. I keep dropping the balls that I am juggling. They roll under the couch to live in dust bunny infested quarters, unnoticed, forgotten. At least until someone says,"Hey, weren't you gonna take care of that?"

One of the great many balls that I have let roll off and become lost is this blog. And so I have made the executive decision to allow my super talented daughter to post for me. Although it makes me feel a little bad. I will pep talk myself through it.

"It is better that someone post the hilarity that is our life than let it be lost, forever. Better to let Sarah help/do it for me than to lose it. Right? Right. Right! RIGHT?!?!?!?!

And so, prepare yourself for awesomeness. (I will have to remember to nag her about posting pictures,too.) And everyone should be brutally honest with her on any grammatical errors you might find. Because she would do it for you, if the situation were reversed.

Don't forget to check out my new favorite blog: http://happyinadequacies.blogspot.com/



p.s. No one is allowed to edit my posts but me. Just saying. In case I needed to. Do I need to add the threat of death? Unless, of course, you find a glaring grammatical error. 

A Week in the Life

It has been a pretty normal week in the McDrano household. LOL! Lots of stuff going on. Lots of running around. Last week was crazy, scout crazy. So this week seemed almost calm in comparison.

First off, Sunday. Had to finish a cake and make it to Court of Honor by 2pm. Fortunately, it wasn't supposed to start until 4. Efrain took Eric at 2. I didn't make it until 4. But I did get the cake done. It was supposed to be a walking stick. It ended up being a walking branch. But, hey, it's a cake.

Monday was Cub Scouts. The boys earned their table tennis belt loop. It was fun. On Tuesday morning, the Webelos met again to earn their Readyman pin. Thanks, Ms. Shaunna. You are awesome! Tuesday was also the day Lauren woke up with strange red splotches on her face. By Wednesday morning, it was clear she had gotten into poison ivy again. Isn't she gorgeous?

So off we go to the doctor for a course of steroids. Yay! She looked worse by Wednesday night, but much better by Thursday morning.

Thursday afternoon, Lauren headed to Grandma's for a visit. Aiden showed us Thursday night that he can swim. The little boy who insisted on wearing a floatie swimsuit (usually his sister's pink one) plus a ring floatie and arm floaties all at the same time, now doesn't want to wear anything! That stresses his mommy out, just a little bit.

Friday brought a new chore chart (yay!) and snake feeding day. Watching the snake  eat makes me gag, just a little bit. But he is so cute all the rest of the time.

And then there was today. Today was supposed to be the pool party for the Webelos. Unfortunately, a storm prevented that from happening. Grandma brought Lauren home. No way was she going to miss a pool party. They came in. Everything was fine. Except for the whole phone call frenzy. Cancelling and rescheduling the pool party. Ugh! Then I walk Mom out to her car. And realize there is a limb in the driveway. And there is black safety glass everywhere. A limb fell on the Suburban and broke out the back glass.

Occasionally, it hits home just how lucky I am. Although a limb fell on my 'burb and I now have to replace the glass, It didn't hit anything but the weatherstripping and the glass. Nothing inside the 'burb was damaged. No painted surfaces were even touched. The thing that the glass rides in was not damaged. Lucky, right?

And then it hit me. Where the limb fell was right where Mom and Lauren were walking just a few minutes earlier. And where Mom and I were walking a few minutes later. More than just lucky, blessed.

And then Sarah gave me bugs. My favorite kind of bugs. They don't buzz or sting or crawl or fly. They just sit there, looking cute.

It's an awesome, charmed life I lead. And I wouldn't change a thing.

I love my kids!

My kids often shock me, with awesome behavior and not so awesome behavior. And it is always crazy around here. This week was no different.

Sarah asked me to pick up her holds at the library for her. Sure, no problem. Turns out her holds numbered about 15. Good grief! We haven't seen much of her this week.

Eric and his snake are adorable together. I swear the snake comes out of hiding whenever Eric is near. Atlas is my favorite pet ever. Doesn't smell, doesn't make noise, only eats once a week. Favorite. Pet. Ever!

Caleb has entered the stage where he wants to be anywhere but here. Can I go? Can I go?

Lauren has poison ivy. Again! On her face. Again! Nothing a course of steroids won't fix up. (And yes, I am slightly jealous.)

Brynna built a ghost trap today. She says our house is haunted. Our doorbell does keep going off by itself. It needs replacing. But if anything is misplaced, Brynna says the ghosts took it.

And my Aiden, my sweet Aiden, who has always been more cautious of the water than his 'have no fear' sister, swam today! He swam all the way around our 24' pool with no assistance, no floaties, never touching the wall. And when he was done, he climbed out and jumped from the porch into the pool and swam over to the ladder. I could not have been more impressed!

I love these people. When they are doing really impressive things and when they are doing ordinary, everyday things, I love them all to pieces. They impress me, shock me, occasionally embarrass me, and always make me proud to be their mother.

So Sweet!

Yesterday, Brynna got a Dora tea set from Grandma. She is so in love with tea parties. Sarah and Eric and Fred attended a tea party this morning. Eric invited a pet rock. Brynna fed them 'so much' brownies. Rocky kept making messes. Brynna was very busy! Between serving and running to get napkins, she barely had time for her own tea! Fred was not the only bird in attendance. Brynna invited a few 'maginary birds, so Fred wouldn't be alone.

How awesome is it that Sarah and Eric took time out of what they were doing to play tea party with Brynna? And amused themselves doing it? Without making Brynna lose her mind?

I love these people!